I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You took a bar mat shot.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize