She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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