We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
