no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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