I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
