Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
