Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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