He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
