Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
