Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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