She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we're so committed to being not committed
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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