That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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