question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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