So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
