You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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