I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
