he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
