This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
