Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
