Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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