She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
