I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
we should paint friendship bongs
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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