great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
