I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
