do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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