so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
