I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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