I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
