Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
