Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
