R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
