Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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