I'm sorry my penis didn't work
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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