This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have fence marks all over my body
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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