If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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