Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
