i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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