Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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