My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
