I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
