Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
