The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
