I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
vagina is talking i cant
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
