but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
