party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
