This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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