I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
