ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
