By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
