Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
