i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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