I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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