the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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