Dual....:-)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
