Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
