Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
